ArcaMax

When we lived in the suburbs, my dog had a squirrel obsession.

He would routinely sit by the deck door watching the backyard for squirrels like a guard at Buckingham Palace. Neither sleep nor hunger nor the sound of a killer Roomba approaching would tear him from his post, unless, of course, he heard the sound of food accidentally dropping on...Read more

Hey, this is just a quick reminder about how dumb things have gotten.

In what way? Well, take your pick. Today let's zoom in on Florida's bobo version of DOGE through which officials are auditing the state's counties and cities with a fine-tooth comb. You know, a small government, laissez-faire activity.

Florida's Chief Financial Officer ...Read more

"What do you think this is?" my husband, pointing to his elbow, asked me.

"That's your elbow," I stated matter-of-factly.

"No, these red spots," he responded.

"Those are red spots," I replied.

He sighed. "I know they're red spots. What do you think they're from?"

I took a closer look at the constellation of red bumps on his forearm just ...Read more

Thank you so much for sitting down with me today, famed French microbiologist Louis Pasteur.

Oui. What is zees about? I am dead.

Yes, I know. I appreciate you making time in your, uh, schedule. The thing is, we are living in strange times here above the ground, and it's important to go straight to the source for ...Read more

This time last year, I struggled with my New Year's resolution to go to the gym.

This year I have made significant progress. I am going to the gym on a semiregular basis. And by "semiregular," I mean that I go often enough that I actually remember where it's located between visits.

The bad news, however, is that my workouts are just -- how ...Read more

It's another bustling week in these United States. I've taken the liberty of rounding up quick, easy recipe ideas to soften the grind of work, kids, bills and the unremitting despair of cognitive dissonance in the face of a 24-hour news cycle. Besides, everyone loves Trader Joe's!

Shaved steak and noodles: Combine thin-sliced beef with Thai ...Read more

I was in mid-eyelash when I heard a knock on the door.

"Can I use the bathroom?" my husband asked through the door.

"No." I replied.

"No?"

"No."

"Why?" he wondered aloud.

"I'm putting on my mascara, and I'm mid-eyelash. You can't interrupt me in the middle of the process."

"Why?"

"It'll mess the whole thing up. The mascara will dry, ...Read more

What do we do with our messy heroes? When they leave this earth, should we muddy the flow of praise by pointing out the asterisks? Must we cement their memory upon their most pernicious moments? Can we allow room for nuance?

The question of Hulk Hogan's legacy finds a fitting home in Florida, full of people reckoning with misdeeds. Here at ...Read more

All I wanted was a bottle of water. But when I went to the cold case at the fancy new coffee bar, there wasn't a plain water bottle in sight. I had a choice of water with infused electrolytes, an antioxidant-rich artichoke water and a water that was filtered through thousands of layers of porous volcanic rock.

I guess I shouldn't have been ...Read more

An old adage in writing says we should show, not tell. Details help reveal the fabric of a person, lending specific flavor to a story. For instance, it's tough to visualize "impulsive." It's easier to conceive of your idiot ex-boyfriend Tom taking a selfie at the narrowest bluff of Angel's Landing in Zion before slipping enough to scare him ...Read more

One of the things I was really excited about when we moved to the suburbs was having a shed. I imagined something pretty with flower-filled window boxes, organized shelves of potting tools, and rakes and brooms hung neatly in size order. However, since I failed to bring Martha Stewart along with us to help create this garden tool utopia, the ...Read more

Yes, it’s that glorious season that so many pumpkin-spice addicts claim to be their favorite. I must admit that, I, too, succumb each year to the autumnal charms of fall, except for my seemingly never-ending battle with leaves, or, as I like to call them – tree dandruff.

So what is it that ironically draws us to a season that marks the ...Read more