Q: After some consideration, I decided to change my age online to 62. I just think 62 sounds better than 65 (and everyone tells me I look young for my age… and I certainly don’t feel 65). What do you think?

-- Susan, 65, Baltimore

A: I would strongly recommend against lying about your age. Yes, you'll likely get more hits, but at what cost? To go out with someone and have him peeved to find out you lied? To start any new potential relationship with a lie? And where does it end? Will you lock in at 62 for the rest of your life?

I’m certainly not trying to be rude. I understand both the temptation to lie and the frustration you have that many men seem to be looking for someone younger. But the right man for you will like you at the age you are.

You don’t need to trick someone into going on a date with you. Trust me—you’ll appreciate this in the end.

Q: I was wondering if you can suggest a dating app for me as a 35-year-old single mom. I feel both too old and too young for most apps.

-- Scarlet, 35, Ames, Iowa

A: You're definitely not too old or too young for any of the apps. Especially since COVID, everyone of every age is on every app! They really cover the whole spectrum of ages these days, so you're right in there.

Bumble and Hinge are the most popular right now, and on both, you can specify that you have a child and whether you want more kids or not. I would definitely take advantage of those search criteria, too. I would avoid showing your child’s face in the profile, but if you want to indicate somewhere in the text the general age range of your child, that would be helpful for people reading your profile. Good luck!

Q: I wanted to have a conversation with (him) about his more long-term goals with a relationship (i.e., his thoughts about kids and marriage and where does he see this type of relationship going). But I'm unsure how to have the conversation without it being completely direct or sounding off-putting. He tends to overthink things, so I don't want to be a conversation that causes undue stress, but I think it's important to know.

Also if there's an answer like "Oh, that's something I never want (even though it was on his profile)," what are good ways to respond?

-- Rachel, 29, Philadelphia

A: First, I'm glad things are still going well! It's been how long now? You definitely have every right to bring up future goals/plans, as that's something that's important to you.

All you can control is how and what you put out there, not how someone reacts to it. So, I would recommend the next time you see him in private saying something like, "I've truly been enjoying our time together. I just wanted to ask what you're looking for long-term to make sure we're aligned." That opens the conversation up without asking specifics about marriage and kids.

And make clear that it doesn't mean you want all of that today. You just want to know that there's a trajectory. Once you open up the conversation, you can start asking more specific questions about the future.

I know it's scary, but we cannot control whether he's stressed about it or not. I don't want you walking on eggshells since it's something that's really important to you. Once you see what he says, then you'll take in that information and decide the best course of action for you.

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